#BigRonFilmReviews

An Expansion of the famous #BigRonFilmReviews twitter hashtag - because 140 characters is seldom enough.
My Hyperbole is my own, later to be contradicted and refuted.

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Episode #79 of The Flicksation Podcast is up!

flicksation:

Eric, Ian, and Robert review and discuss the films THE ZERO THEOREM, COHERENCE, and BOYHOOD. We reflect on Robin Williams in the news, and we load up on hallucinogenics and isolate ourselves for a Film School discussion of Ken Russell’s ALTERED STATES.

Recent film and entertainment…

Despicable Me 2 (2013)
Gru, the kids and most importantly the minions are back for more fun and frolics.
Having moved from Villain to Dad in the last movie Gru now makes the natural step to Spy-Hero when recruited by the AVL (Anti-Villain League).
More of the same really (which is not a bad thing!). The filmmakers have picked up on the comedy value the Minions provide and double/treble/quadrupled it, even making the bad guys genetically mutated purple versions.
Colourful comedy with fart guns and giant magnets with little riffs of everyday life thrown in: Online Dating, Kids Parties and Daughters getting boyfriends.
Lots of madcap fun, really enjoyable.
"Lipstick Tamer!!!"
"Bottom!"
"Are you single?"
"Ha! Booby!"
“Hey, that pollo es loco”
“The highest honor awarded to Dr. Nefario for your years of service, the 21-fart gun salute!”
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bigronfilmreviews:

Despicable Me (2010)
Alright, alright, so whats the big deal with these movies and these minion things?
Set in a world of Super Villains, sinister plots and evil gadgetry, the Steve Carell voiced Gru is being out-evil-ed by a newcomer. Not to be undone he hatches a plan to steal the moon…
Gru is actually a hapless anti-villain rather than an anti-hero, in theory he’s a badguy but his heart is good and when he adopts so children to implement his plan he very quickly becomes a reluctant Father - to much amusement.
Good voice performances especially from Russell Brand.
Absolute nonsense of course but pretty good in a Wallace and Gromit meets multiple Bond Villains kind of a way. Good zany fun, the devices and antics are indeed enjoyable and the minions are rather brilliant.
“Assemble the minions!”
"You will not cry, or whine, or laugh, or giggle, or sneeze or barf or fart!”
"Get the shrikray, then we’ll talk".
"Argh. I hate that guy!"
"Cookie Robots!"
#BigRonFilmReviews

What If (2014)

One of several decent little scenes. Review here

Robot & Frank (2012)
Frank Langella is a retired Cat Burglar and part time shoplifter. When Son James Marsden gets him a Robot Butler he sees not help for his with senile dementia but an opportunity to go back to work.
It’s great. Think Short Circuit meets like Grumpy old Men. Langella is superb as the wily old crim, stealing not for financial gain but perhaps to cling on to his youth and vitality. He’s a lonely guy and the bond that builds with the Robot is actually rather sweet. Peter Sarsgaard does some good voice work as the Robot’s voice and his moral corruption by Langella can only be admired.
Visually this is pretty low-fi, and I imagine it’s fairly low budget but the characters and writing are fabulous. I mean the Robot is a bloke in a suit but that adds to it’s quirky value and I found it to be a perfect balance of the bittersweet, sentimental, hilarious and charming - when he called the Robot his friend I almost cried (I didn’t though cos i’m a Geezer, obviously!)
Highly recommended.
"There’s nothing wrong with my memory!"
"If you let go of me i’ll do the dishes"
"What am I doing? I’m talking to an appliance".
"Fuck this shit!"
"Warning! Do not molest me".
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Brick Mansions (2014)
This all looks familiar…
I’m sure i’ve seen this but it’s new out…
Hang on even the French bloke looks a bit familiar…..
Oh it’s a remake of the Parkour film District B13!!!
In the near future an area of Detroit has become so crime ridden and Unpoliceable they’ve built massive walls around it. Super cop Paul Walker is given the task of going into said walled-area to retrieve a Neutron bomb with just the Parkour dude from the original French movie for help.
It’s kind of like The Raid but nowhere near as good. The fighting and some of the stunts are cool and impressive but they’ve Hollwooded everything. It’s bigger, bolder and louder…. which of course makes it inferior. From memory the stunts in the French version were so good because the guy was clearly doing the action… In this I don’t think it was always the case.
Poor dialogue and crap villains detract from the good chemistry Paul Walker and David Belle build up but action fans will probably find things to enjoy. It’s not horrible but it’s a shame Paul Walker’s final movie isn’t a little bit better. RIP.
“Sometimes you don’t gotta be a rocket scientist. You just gotta have a rocket!”
“I handle what needs handling.”
“Revenge and justice are not the same thing. They never are.”
“This is going to be a lot of fun.”
“There’s a situation that demands the best of the best.”
“Brick Mansions gangsters! We buy or we die!”
“Different method, same results”
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RIP Lord Richard Attenborough 29/8/1923 - 24/8/2014
RIP
For many of us the creator of Jurassic Park or the Director of Ghandi but my favourite is his 1960 movie The Angry Silence. Well worth a view if you get the chance (and often find older movies inaccessible).
Afternoon Delight (2013)
Kathryn Hahn has a very good life, she’s wealthy with a good husband yet she finds it stale and mundane. Her sex life is nonexistent and she longs for something to change. To spice things up she heads to a strip where she befriends Juno Temple and invites her to live in her house.
Yeah that will end well. Actually it might have had not become a self fulfilling prophecy - treat a whore like a whore and she’ll behave like one…. I guess.
This is a Mother Daughter/Sister/Friendship fish out of water voyage of discovery with an edge. It’s quite rude, there is plenty of sex and lots of naughty talk plus this is the movie you watch if you want to see Temple give Hahn a lap dance.
I found this amusing and occasionally quite sad. The growth journey is a strange one, i’m not sure I really got it and the Juno Temple character doesn’t seem to get a victory of any kind. 
I picked up on this solely because of Kathryn Hahn, comedic actors have a history of working well in a drama and I think this is the case here. Hahn has a hell of a meltdown that I loved but the whole thing could have done with a better plot.
"Still no sex"
"Name one goof thing that came from blogging?"
"How did the stripper get in the maids room?"
"I might even suck it right off"
"Oh my God! you just snorted!"
"I wanna here about everyone’s abortions"
"Do I look familiar to you? You gave me a lap dance last weekend"
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Tusk (2014)

I’m a Kevin Smith guy so this looks interesting, like Misery crossed with The Skin I live in or (I assume as I haven’t seen it) The Human Centipede.

The Expendables 3 (2014)

The best of a three bad movies. Review here.

Stripes (1981)
Bill Murray is having the kind of day they write blues songs about. Having lost his job, his girl, his car and his home he decides to join the Army and takes Harold Ramis along for the ride.
It’s vintage Bill Murray in an Army version of Police Academy. Boobs, homophobic gags, clashes with authority etc but by the end they start the soldiering and end up heros.
Murray is in full Caddyshack mode and there’s good support from John Candy, Harold Ramis and Judge Reinhold.
Not up there with the top, top 80s comedy stuff but nay bad.
"Son of bitch! Shit!"
“I got $3 says I can do five push ups”
“Well I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it!”
“Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it’s usually something unusual”.
“Did you ever see a monk get wildly fucked by some teenage girls?”
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The Battered Bastards of Baseball (2014)
Yep. I’ve reactivated my Netflix.
A documentary detailing the surprising story of Bing Russell (Kurt’s Dad) and his independent Baseball team the Portland Mavericks. 
When existing Portland franchise moved on to Washington Bing took his chance to set up an independent franchise and ruffled a few feathers. Think Moneyball crossed with a true version of Major League.
Through vintage B&W footage and basic interviews we learn of Bing’s motivation for his passion project and his love for the game. With open tryouts he assembled a team of loose canons, hasbeens, neverwases and misfits and got a lot of media attention.
This is a triumph of the human spirit, classic underdog tale that is all the more inspiring because it’s true. That said it’s more mildly interesting that inspiring.
"It was an insult to the City".
"I just thought that playing for the Mavericks would be better alternative to painting fucking houses!"
"I think that my glove should be in the hall of fame. Not me. My glove".
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Lucy (2014)

Fuck me!
Oh Wow.
Erm.
Gosh.
Think Limitless but instead of becoming really smart you become super human.

Scarlett Johannson is duped into delivering a briefcase to a Korean Mobster in Taiwan. She’s turned into a drug mule but is carry no ordinary drug - she’s carrying CPH4, a drug released in the womb that activates the brain (basically). Fortunately she gets kicked in the belly and the drug seeps into her body transforming her into…….. more or less God?!? I dunno.

At the centre of this is an interesting idea about opening your mind and the 10% theory but it’s just nonsense. Why did they make her a God?
For me it would have been sufficient to maximise her human abilities not make her telekinetic and omniscient. She defys all rules of physics and turns into Neo from the Matrix.

Horribly constructed with inconsistent visuals (some good some terrible) this things cuts away to nature documentaries and an awful cgi neanderthal thing that completely took me out of the narrative.

I mean, I don’t think it’s good, it’s kind of confusing and the ending is woeful. BUT in some ways it’s fun and it might one day become so bad it’s good. Maybe.

“We humans are more concerned with having than with being”.

“Ignorance brings chaos, not knowledge”

“We’ve codified our existence to bring it down to human size, to make it comprehensible, we’ve created a scale so we can forget its unfathomable scale”.

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Chef (2014)

A thoroughly enjoyable flick. review here

The Losers (2010)
Betrayed by the CIA a band of ball breaking, wise-cracking misfits seek revenge their revenge in this formulaic action comedy. Think the A-Team crossed with The Expendables but mainly think A-Team.
Nothing we haven’t seen before, slow walking, fast editing and pumping music. Double, treble twists and silly deaths. The crack team have silly names and specialist skills and with the help of femme fatale Zoe Saldana they are hunting down Jason Patric’s pantomime villain.
Chris Evans is playing Face, Jeffrey Dean Morgan is Hannibal, Idris Elba needs a new agent and Zoe Saldana is doing a similar thing to Colombiana.
It’s passable and inoffensive but not original in any way.
"I’ll drive!"
"You’ve just been chopper-jacked fellas!"
"When I was little…. i collected human ears"
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